Nightmare?

"Twins?  That's my worse nightmare." "I wouldn't wish twins on my worse enemy." 

or my favorites 

"Twins?  You're going to get huge!" and "Well, just goes to show you should be careful what you wish for."

Do you know how many times I've heard those words spoken to me?  

Yes, multiples come with their own set of challenges.  We not only have to worry that our one little baby is growing and staying healthy, we have to worry that two children are getting enough food, enough fluid, enough room.  I'm not going to lie, I already worry that I spend too much time in the day trying to feel one kicking then the other.  Physically, I have extra strain on my body from my two little ones then I would if I just had one.  Our doctor appointments are starting to come closer together now, along with the monthly ultrasounds until they are born.  We now wait every 4 weeks to know if we'll be transferred to a high risk doctor if something looks wrong on one of those ultrasounds.  So yes, they come with challenges before they are even here.

Once they are born we will not have to the ability to be thrown into parenthood with one screaming newborn.  We will each be up with our own child during the night.  We will have to purchase two cribs, two car seats, two swings, two wardrobes, double the diapers, double everything.  So yes, I can see how one could view the multiples as their "worse nightmare."

The funny thing is, that's not how we see it.  We sit at our ultrasounds and watch our two beautiful children kicking each other.  I love how I can feel two little ones moving and kicking in there.  I love how sometimes I can't tell them apart but when I can it's amazing.  We love how we are getting blessed with the best of both worlds.  We love how we can already tell that Ezra has my nose.  We love how they each seem to have their own little personalities already.  Ezra is the wiggler and Hayden is the kicker.  We love the fact that they love fried chicken, hot showers, and cold water.

We can't wait to watch our son and daughter interact once they can see each other.  We can't wait to watch them grow.  We are interested to see if they will soothe each other when the other is crying or if they will feed off each other.

As far as "you're going to get huge." Yes, I've known all along that I'm going to be larger then other pregnant women but just like everyone says "every pregnancy is different" every pregnant women looks different.  I've known plenty of women that carried one child that got very large and one women who carried four babies who at 34 weeks was smaller then I am now at 20 weeks with twins.

We didn't ask for twins but we did pray for God's Will be to be done.  Everything depends on how you choose to view it.  There will be challenges, don't think we don't know that, but we could never view our son and daughter as a nightmare.  So if not being careful for what I wished for gave me our two precious children to love then I'll be less careful from now on.

HALFWAY MARK!!

Kind of    :)

Everywhere you look, everything you read, everything says that 20 weeks is halfway through your pregnancy.  Even though I'm 18 weeks today I'm considering myself halfway through my pregnancy already.  An average twin pregnancy lasts about 35 weeks and if it's your first pregnancy you're at a higher risk of having them early.  So I'm celebrating today that way if I go over 36 weeks I'll feel like super woman, no make that super mom, instead of a failure that I didn't make it to 40 weeks.

I know, I know...babies come when they're ready.  I also know that by the time I'm about 30 weeks I'll want them out of me because I will physically be done with the pregnancy but every week, every day, every minute they are not in the outside world is one less week, day, and minute their daddy and I don't have to worry.

It's so hard for us to think about the fact that we're about 20 weeks away from finally meeting our little gifts from God.  To celebrate, the twins got their dad a Valentines Day present.  They couldn't wait until the 14th so they had to give him his present last night.  They gave him another set of twins to help him make it through the next 20 weeks until they can come out and play.

Getting Stronger Everyday...

...and everyday I keep getting bigger.

I'm a few days shy of 18 weeks with the little twinsies and feeling it!  Between being 5'2'' and growing at an alarming rate, thanks to our children, my body seems to be having a hard time keeping up with them.  I expected to have tons of pain but did expect it to be this bad for a while.  I currently am wearing a maternity brace on and off through out the day and trying to stay off my feet as much as possible as to help with some of the pulling pains.

Through it all I love that even when I'm having a low day I can pull out my doppler and listen to their little hearts beating away.  They already have their own little personalities in there.  

• Baby A is normally the one that is moving around all the time.  They are also the one that is active on the ultrasounds and when we try to listen to them they move around so much we have to chase them with the doppler wand.  This morning was no different.  I was listening to them and then they were gone.  Mommy got to play hide and seek this morning.
• Baby B is normally the one that is hiding.  We've never seen anything but their back and they are always the one that it takes a little while to find their heartbeats.  We have been calling them Jared Jr. the whole time seeing as they are going to be our trouble child :)  This morning was no different either except with one HUGE difference!!  They weren't hiding, they weren't difficult to find, and they were extremely active.  In fact in between counting beats I would hear a strong thump, thump even though I wasn't moving a thing.  We remember that sound from our last doctor appointment and we remember what the doctor told us it was.  Our shy little babe was fighting back!  They were punching and kicking the doppler wand.  We are still calling them Jared Jr. as it appears they like to fight.  Daddy was so proud!

So even though I feel like my body is going to be ripped apart before these babies are ready to make their appearance, which we're hoping won't be for another 4.5 to 5 months, I will duct tape myself together if that means I can finally hold my two little angels.  Squirms, kicks and all.